After what felt like a tornado of pain and suffering, while bullets were fired and old wounds were cut apart, she began picking up the pieces once again. Maybe at this time, with how many times she’s been in a similar position, she expected she’d be used to the feeling but she was far from it. Every cut and bruise hurt even more so as they were fired from who she thought she could trust as family. Family hurt each other, family kept secrets, family betrayed and sometimes abandoned, but family was one thing you couldn’t walk away from…you couldn’t cut ties from family. But, family, was not the people she decided to leave behind.
Her life finally seemed to be better. She was picking up pieces from the war of a year ago. She was still trying to heal the battle scars she had been awarded through the storm of storms. But she thought she was done with that. Boy, she was wrong. Pain will always be a part of her life; darkness will always be a part of the person she has become.
But that doesn’t mean happiness doesn’t have a role in her life, and it doesn’t mean there isn’t light that shines from her eyes because there will always be two wolves inside her that she will continue to feed in attempt to make them stop fighting each other. Her light and her darkness will always be the definition of who she is, but who she chooses to be is up to her…what she chooses to be is up to her. And she wants to be happy.
Life has it’s ups and downs, and she has both angels and demons whispering in her ears. There is nothing we can do about that. What we can do is choose how to live our lives.
With a heavy heart, and bruised soul, she began, once again, to pick up the pieces of herself that had fallen to the floor. The piece that cares too much for her own good. The piece that carries the burdens of the world around her. The piece that loves unconditionally. The piece that beats herself up whenever something goes dark. The piece that fears. The piece that is scared. And the piece that always wants to be cared for.
She picks up her pieces, one by one, and holds each cracked mirror and chipped byte close to heart as she tries to patch herself back up. The more she tries to help herself, the more it hurts as the darkness within yearns to regain power in the worse ways. The dark wolf bites and howls in the night, fighting to be set free without a leash around its neck or chains on its claws. But she is better than that.
In the most unforgettable ways, her light shines brightly, still. She feels the warmth of her angels as she looks at the world around her with awe. She feels the fire flickering inside her that feeds the light wolf with emotions of happiness and joy, with her caring nature and forgiving heart. She feels that part of herself in the moments she forgets its existence and, in those moments, she knows she can get back to who she was. She can rebuild her heart and heal her soul. But until that day comes, this is who she is.
A girl breaking apart as the moon rises and the night falls around her. A young woman struggling to stay sane in the simplest ways. A stronger warrior battling wars only her demons and angels can understand. And, 100% her.