I know a relation between one person and another truly should not consist of “point cards” or “mistake tallies” or whatever you want to say. I know to have a strong relation between you and another has to have some working balance of give and take. I know a relation between myself and ones I care about have to involve trust, faith, and hope.
But why did I ever think that it would work this time?
Was it the constant promises we made in the past? Was it the countless life’s trails we faced by each other’s side? Was it the multiple times you had told me, you would never leave me alone?
The memories we made under the cotton-candy night skies. The laughs we shared in moments where we were probably twice as loud as we heard from our own ears. The hugs where you clung onto my body whether you were happy or sad, cold or freezing. The conversations where at least one of us where pouring out our hearts.
I look back, and I know how much I miss you. I replay all the memories in my head, and wonder if you ever miss it too.
I never had a girl like you. I never met someone so stubborn. I never met someone who stood up to challenge my own stubbornness, and won without doubt. I never met someone so determined and brave. I never knew someone so intelligent yet so blind in your accomplishments. I never knew someone with such passion and fire. I never knew someone who would always stay by my side…I hope you’re still there when I open my eyes.
The pains of the past, the mistakes I made that costed me my best friend, the wrong roads I had travelled, and such events that I can never take back. The actions that hurt your pure heart, the words I always forgot to say when I had the chance, the past that puts a sword through both of our hearts. I know I can’t erase what happened, or take back anything at all, but I know I can start writing my days anew as it is the battles that we face today with the power to change the future.
I hope you’ll stay and write it with me too.
I will never regret letting you in. I will never regret spilling my secrets and bleeding my blood. I will never wish to take back the friendship I granted because a friendship is what I got back in return. I will never forget the nights I cried to you, and the tears you shed when seeing me in such pain. I will never forget the countless speeches you told me about taking better care of myself. I will never forget the day you told me that you looked up to me, that I taught you to be the independent young woman that you are today. You will never understand how much that meant to me. And you will never understand how much you mean to me, too.
Today, and always, I love you.