Scared of the Dark

Have you ever heard the saying that goes something like this: People aren’t scared of the dark; they’re scared of what lies within it.

Well…

I’m not worried about caring about you, I’m worried about doing way too much.
I’m not worried about doing too much for you, I’m worried one day you’ll ask me for something I cannot do or get for you.
I’m not worried about you getting to know me, I’m worried that you won’t like me once you do.
I’m not worried about being there for you, I’m worried about the day that you’ll need me the most and the possibility that I won’t be there.
I’m not worried about falling for you, I’m worried about doing something wrong.

I’m not afraid to lean on you, just scared you’ll get tired and push me away.
I’m not afraid to get excited over you, just scared you’ll get fed up with me and walk away one day.
I’m not afraid of loving you, just scared you’ll disappear and leave me confused and searching for what I did wrong.
I’m not afraid of counting on you, just scared that you’ll say ‘goodbye’ when I was just comfortable with saying ‘hi’.
I’m not afraid of you, just scared of what you could do to me because of how much you mean to me.

I’m not hesitant because I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt.
I’m not hesitant because I’m waiting for my past to happen again, I’m waiting for my past to be the reason you walk away.
I’m not hesitant because I don’t know how I feel, I don’t know if it’s enough.
I’m not hesitant because I’m trying to play “hard to get” or any other game, I don’t know if the relationship I want is what you want too.
I’m not hesitant because I don’t see your worth, I think you are worthy of much more than just…me.

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5 thoughts on “Scared of the Dark

  1. I couldn’t resist checking out your post, but now I get here I find I’m too tired to give it the attention it deserves. It’s 2.30am in the UK, and I have to get up early tomorrow morning, so I’ll come back to it tomorrow evening. Cheers, Jane

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to this sorrowful poem. I lived with a sick man who went out of his way to make me feel worthless. Because of this, for a long time, I carefully avoided friendships, since I was sure that when people got to know me they’d realise how boring I was. If a man was attracted to me, I’d steer well clear of him as I thought that if he was interested in me, he must be very flawed, and if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t stick around once he knew me. It even affected my relationship with my children – I didn’t believe that they could possibly love or even like me. It took me years to realise that I was a worthwhile person.
    Don’t fall into that pit. Don’t believe that you have to make mountains of effort in order to have a successful relationship, don’t think that you’re not good enough the way you are, and DON’T stick around if a guy makes unreasonable demands on you, or puts you down.
    Tell yourself that you are every bit as good as he is… and as he’s a man, you’re probably better than him 🙂
    .

    Like

    1. I am sorry you can relate. I know how uncomfortable it is when you want to trust someone enough to create a deeper bond with them, but everything your past taught you yells at you to run the opposite direction.
      I hope you found a man that reminds you everyday how lovable you are as well as how loved you are and how much you are worth.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t want a man – Six days ago I managed to get shot of the last one who thought he had a chance with me. It took months to make him understand…
        Before you ask – yes, he was a dick. They’re the only ones stubborn enough to try to get under my tough skin.
        I’m happy with my life as it is. I don’t think I was cut out for living with a man, anyway.

        Like

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