She sits by herself in an empty house, waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to come on by and back into her life. She hugs a teddy bear she received as a gift close to her chest, and closes her eyes as she takes one more breath. She hears the music play from her computer but barely listens to the lyrics while thousand thoughts cloud her silent mind.
She clutches the bear against her chest and holds on tighter. She grips on tighter and tighter as if trying to hold onto something she is forced to let go of. She feels empty and she feels broken, only wanting to remember what it felt like to be whole. Pain is all she knows, all she knew truly. Confusion seeps into her empty mind as her cold heart numbs from all the pain.
She looks back to her past and is scared to find that all her statements had been true. The happy moments only clouded the pain and numbed the hurt from her little precious heart back in the day. But as she grew older, as she learned more and more about the world surrounding her, the pain grew too apparent to be ignored, too intense to pretend it wasn’t there.
Years have passed but not much has changed. She hides in her room and cries herself to sleep as the emotions she bottled up seeps through her eyes. She plasters on a smile to keep questions out of her hair. She pretends everything is fine when, in reality, she is screaming inside.
She sits by herself in an empty house, trying to listen for some kind of sign that she is not alone in this fight. She glances at the TV screen and wonders what the heck is going on with the world, because every day seems to have some kind of news that is worse than the last. She looks around at her own life and realizes that every thing that once was here, never was truly found again.
The lies that made the happiness stay alive have perished but not the pain. The masks that used to cover up the broken pieces have broke to shards of glass. The smiles that would seem to last forever have been washed away from all the rain.
Everything is just not the same.