Guilt. Fear. Stress.

She could physical see her hands shake as she paused before clasping her fingers around the smart phone. She didn’t know who to call – everyone was busy, everyone had their own lives, and everyone had their own problems to deal with. She didn’t want to become a burden to anyone, especially her family and close friends.

“Tell them the truth.” Her demons whisper, knowing the truth was more painful to hear than the silent lies she’s been living to hide her newly founded knowledge.

“They’ll just end up blaming you for keeping a secret this big.” They warned, creating words at the tip of her tongue she never dared to say in fear of hurting her dear old dad.

“You know the truth.” The demons hissed. “Don’t you think they deserve better?” Was that a trick question? Of course they deserved better than this betrayal after everything that had happened. But did they deserve to hear this news from the youngest member of the broken family?

She would curl in a ball under the comforter and hide in the darkness until dawn was just around the corner. Then, finally, her eyes would close and she would be released into a deep sleep. Every day the alarm would go off, the shrieking sound barely audible enough to wake her up, and her day would start over again.

“Tell them the truth!” The warnings and reminders continued but escalated into dares and laughter.

She could feel her whole body vibrate under all the tension and stress she was under. Her hands would shake as she turned the wheel on her car as she drove to school when she truly wanted to drive until she ran out of gas, stranding herself in the middle of nowhere. Her steps were unbalanced and sometimes she would trip over nothing but air.

“They deserve better than this.” Her demons wouldn’t shut up. “They deserve better than YOU!” It drove her insane.

Then, one day, she texted a friend:

I need your help.

Tremble

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