You VS Me

When you look at me, I wonder if you see the hurt and fear behind my eyes that has only gotten more concentrated through all the years.
When you look at me, I wonder if you can tell when I’m trying to hide when I’m truly feeling – a habit that I developed at a very young age due to my parents’ rules and restrictions.
When you look at me, I wonder if you notice the little things that give me away that shine through my eyes every once in a while – sometimes I can’t hide as much as I would like.

When you talk to me, I wonder if you can’t help but smile at random times too.
When you talk to me, I wonder if you never want the conversation to end too.
When you talk to me, I wonder if you wish I was there beside you too.

When you see me, I wonder if you acknowledge the aura that surrounds me and what it feels like to you. (I’ve gotten things such as “dark and dangerous”, “intimidating and powerful”, “guarded and aware”, and more.)
When you see me, I wonder if you take in the little details that give you hints about how I am feeling and/or what I’m thinking about.
When you see me, I wonder if you think about the last conversation we had.

When you miss me, I wonder if you take out my gifts and look back at the memories, and dream about the next time you get me to yourself.
When you miss me, I wonder if you always pick up the phone and contact me like I hope you would.
When you miss me, I wonder if you feel that empty feeling inside our stomach like I do when I miss you.

When I look at you, I can’t help but get lost in your dark brown eyes and admire the way you look down at me, and feel lucky that you are mine.
When I look at you, I see all the things you try to hide behind your eyes and make sure you know that and know that it’s fine.
When I look at you, I pay attention to the small details that I love about you.

When I talk to you, I smile at random times at the bizarre comments we make and the inside jokes and the nonsense commentary we pass back and forth.
When I talk to you, I wish you were with me in person so I could hug you in my arms.
When I talk to you, I never want the conversation to end.

When I see you, I see everything that is you and adore that.
When I see you, I can’t help but smile because you are there…and I can run up and surprise you and steal a kiss.
When I see you, I remember my favorite dates and our plans in the near future, and get excited to know that you’ll always be there.

When I miss you, I text you or call you in order to talk to you or hear your voice.
When I miss you, I replay our memories in my head and develop new ideas for the future.
When I miss you, you know it.

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