What do I tell you when I wake up screaming, sitting up in my empty bed? What do I do when all I want to do is have you there with me, to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay? What do I say when you’re miles away but you yearn to be with me?

Blood dripping. Guns pointing. Swords swinging. Lives threatened. Nightmares.

Punches thrown. Fights encountered. Bruises, cuts, etc. Nightmares.

Some of them seem so realistic. It terrifies me.

Being called home because my parents got into a fatal car accident. Being blamed for my parents’ divorce. Losing my parents to some accident and ending up living on my own…at 15.

Going back into time and finding that I was adopted. Watching false flashbacks of times that got a little out of hand.

Being trapped by some guys. Having a gun pointed to my head. Ropes tied my hands and punches being thrown to break.

Drowning. Falling off a cliff. Being pushing off a skyscraper. Shoved into a window that is now broken. Falling thousands of feet to my doom.


I wake up screaming. I wake up shaking. I wake up gasping for air. I wake up.

Nightmare after nightmare, the more they come the more I want you here. But what do I say? What do I do? What do I tell you? I don’t want to worry you. I don’t want you to get scared for me. I don’t want to bother you with something I know you can’t help me with. I don’t want to tell you something that won’t please.

So what do I do?