Cursed

Cursed to constantly look over my shoulders. Cursed to always have my guard up. Cursed to think the worse is hiding somewhere right in front of me, but I am blind to see what’s there. Cursed…because you left me like you did.

I should’ve known it was too good to be true. I should’ve guessed that what we had wasn’t going to last through…it all. I should’ve said ‘no’ and backed away when I still had room to breathe, when I wasn’t in too deep.

Cursed to overanalyze – I know I do it, but I do it without thinking and don’t see it until it’s too late. Cursed to push people away – I am scared and terrified and broken and torn. Cursed to hide myself within the mask that only got thicker as time went by – I don’t know how longer this will last until I am gone too deep.

I could’ve realized that if things went to wrong way I would end up scarred for life. I could’ve known what was happening wasn’t for the best for me – I loved too much and gave too much, more than what was good for me.

Cursed to be scared…terrified that someone else I meet with be “just like you”.

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