Emotionless

Every since that day, she’s been numb to life. She had turned off her emotions and locked up her heart. She looks at you but she doesn’t see you. She listens to you but she doesn’t hear you. She’s numb. She’s…not herself.

She takes deep breathes to calm herself. She closes her eyes and takes her mind off of everything to keep herself from breaking down. She pulls herself away from everyone around her to shelter herself from getting that hurt again. She doesn’t know what else to do.

She’s broken. He hurt her.

She tries to build new friendships and focus on this future ahead of her. But even as she tries to continue her life, she is haunted by how broken she is and how terrified she has really become to being hurt again. She’s been hurt before and she’s been betrayed and back-stabbed by people she trusted, but she had never been through something so immense because there hadn’t been someone else who meant as much as he did.

She doesn’t regret anything. She doesn’t wish she could go back into time just to relive the moments. She doesn’t want to forget it ever happened. She just wants to be okay again…but she doubts she ever will be.

She doubts she will ever be able to push aside this experience and go on with her life. She doubts it will ever stop haunting her and scaring her in her future relationships (as friends or as more). She doubts she will ever be whole again.

She goes through life and goes through the motions, but she isn’t really there.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s